Sunday, March 4, 2012

Reaping and sowing

"You can't reap unless you sow!" the phrase hit me in a way that I, honestly, had never thought about sowing-and-reaping before. I was at the theater watching The Lorax with my two young sons and that phrase jumped from the big screen into my thoughts.

As a child, I grew up with the biblical paraphrase, "you reap what you sow." I have always understood it as a warning; you do something bad and something bad will happen. I remember countless times praying for crop failure.

Today I heard the phrase with a different, redemptive tone. It's not a warning; it is a promise, a call to life! It is an encouraging voice asking me to live fully--to embrace life. Do I have the courage, the self preservation, to sow what I really need to reap; to live a life worthy of living.

A half dead existence of addiction and shame--praying for crop failure is not what I was intended for. I am meant to trully live. Like Dr Suess' story, I can't reap a forrest of beauty unless I plant the rare seed in my life that can restore me.

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap." -Galations 6:7

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The wisdom of children

Zak--one of our little miracles
This morning, my seven year old son, Zak, proudly stated, "I know how to make a baby!"
My curiosity was peaked, "How do you make a baby?"
He confidently answered, "You marry somebody and then you pray."

There is an amazing amount of truth in his innocence.
As adults, we can be so caught up in trying to control and manipulate our world that we often forget how little control we actually have. We put forth our best efforts, however in many circumstances, we do not possess the power to decide the actual outcomes. As a man living with AIDS I am continually learning that lesson.

Zak has heard the story of his inception many times. "Mommy and Daddy couldn't have a baby. We wanted one so bad, so we prayed and prayed. Finally, God remembered our prayers for a child and gave us you. So we named you Zakariah which means, God has remembered."

Most people know how a baby is made. For us, it took a cup, lab, syringe, doctor and stirrups (Sperm washing). We all made our best efforts but ultimately there was no guarantee it was going to work. After two painful years, on the eleventh try, the miracle of conception happened resulting in an adorable little blond haired boy.

Mommy and Daddy got married and then prayed.
God remembered them; the miracle happened.
A simple lesson.

"Now stand here and see the great thing the Lord is about to do." -1 Samual 12:16